Top 9 Of The Best Social Anxiety Coping Skills
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We all need some good social anxiety coping skills in our back pocket, and these are the top 9 that have helped me and my friends the most!
I used to struggle really severely with feeling anxious around my friends and strangers. Now, I have strategies that have allowed me to never miss a class again because of anxiety over speaking in class!
If you have ever been nervous about ordering food at a counter, walking through a checkout line at a grocery store, or talking about your interests and feelings with people, then you need some of these tips to help you with social anxiety!
This post is all about social anxiety coping skills!
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Why Do We Feel Social Anxiety Even Around Friends And Family?
As someone who has grown up pretty sensitive, I have developed many social anxiety coping skills through therapy and on my own.
It gets annoying and lonely when you don’t know how to cope with people, especially friends and family.
We might feel anxiety with friends and family for so many reasons. Some of those reasons could be conflict, self-consciousness, and sensitivity.
The people you should be hanging around with are friendly and nonjudgmental. Once you find your people, you will find out that you actually don’t feel so much social anxiety.
Find the people that lift you up so you don’t have to be anxious with them around.
Coping Skills For Social Anxiety
1. Breathing Techniques
Once you are in a social situation that causes you anxiety, start with some deep breathing.
We all need to be taking advantage of our breath and breathing deeper every day, but this is especially true when you are anxious.
This can help calm the physical symptoms you may feel from the adrenaline.
Repeat a mantra like “I’m doing fine, and everything is okay” in your head each time you breathe in and out.
Assure your brain that you are okay, and talk yourself through your current situation while you breathe!
2. Journaling
This is a great coping skill for when you get home and overthink everything you did in a social situation.
Write down everything you remember, and do not exaggerate anything. Be stone cold and write down the facts of your situation.
If you need to ask a friend if something you did was weird, ask a nice and sweet person who you know is very social. Don’t ask a homebody who doesn’t get out much because you will second-guess everything they tell you!
Try to remember everything about the situation while you are in it so you can write it all down and not second-guess yourself, either.
Click here or this image to read the ultimate guide to journaling for beginners if you need some help!
3. Mindfulness
Mindfulness is all about being present and noticing everything.
Start by paying attention to how you feel. Notice where you feel anger, happiness, or anxiety. You might feel anxiety in your throat and chest, for example.
Just by noticing, you are practicing mindfulness.
Then, start to notice your surroundings and other people. Don’t overthink it, though. Just notice what they are doing and saying without judgment or assumption. Don’t try to guess what they are thinking or what their intentions are.
Be mindful before you speak to make sure that what you are saying is exactly what you mean and that you understand the consequences of what you are saying. Those consequences are going to be either positive or negative. Not everything you say has to have a consequence if you don’t want it to. It can simply be a neutral comment.
Start to notice everything and not judge any of your feelings as good or bad but as just there.
4. Progressive Muscle Relaxation
This is perfect for when you get home and need to decompress after hanging out with people!
This means to start relaxing every muscle in your body, starting from your head down or your feet up.
Notice all the muscles you have that are tense, and then the next time you are in a social situation, feel for those muscles and see if they are tense or relaxed.
You don’t have to do anything but notice. You don’t need to try to fix anything.
Relax every. single. muscle. in your body. Don’t leave a single one behind.
5. Expand Your Comfort Zone
Diving deeper outside your comfort zone can be scary, but there are some great ways to take this slowly!
Start by reading books and watching TV shows that you have only a marginal interest in. This will get you used to being in and dealing with situations where you don’t feel super comfortable or happiest.
I love reading books with very dissimilar lifestyles to me so I can learn about other people and maybe bring some perspective into my life on how others might be feeling. Try to find a book about a topic you usually shy away from.
Once you get better at this, start bringing yourself closer to other people. Start by being around people and not avoiding anyone. Get a feel for someone’s personality by listening and observing. You don’t even have to talk to them directly at first! This will get you used to new people that might intimidate you.
6. Healthy Eating Habits
You must start eating healthy for your brain and body to be working at its peak.
DON’T SHOOT THE MESSENGER!!
You will seriously notice a difference in your anxiety if you start eating correctly. Having many shelf-stable (or freezer-stable) food options can be helpful to get various nutrients.
To save some money, you should buy tons of bags of different frozen vegetables, and you can pick and choose which ones you want to eat that day. Onions and garlic also last forever in the fridge and are colossal flavor boosters!
Look for smoothies if you have a hard time getting yourself to eat some days or if anxiety makes you nauseous. Drinking a smoothie can be easier than eating eggs or cheese.
Find safe foods that never gross you out, and always keep those on hand. Stock up on them! For me, that is crackers, peanut butter, cheese, and popcorn. Even if all other food is gross, you deserve to be fed and to eat!
7. Exercise
This has to be my least favorite coping skill for social anxiety because it can be hard to go out and exercise when you have social anxiety.
Here are some tricks to making this work for your agoraphobia: you can play dance videos or workout videos at home for extra exercise. There will be a day when you gain enough confidence that a gym or a walk in the neighborhood won’t make you cringe or anxious!
If you also have ADHD, then exercise can be especially important! Get out all your jitters by walking around, doing homework on the kitchen counter so you are forced to stand, or jump around for a few minutes.
8. Social Skills Training
Choose a friend or friends you trust and ask them to help you practice your social skills. Give them permission to tell you whenever you do something weird or annoying or anything! Then, you will start to trust them with all of your social situations.
Confide in them about your fears and about situations you felt awkward in. Ask them all the questions about what is expected and what is not.
This can help you understand social expectations and how to act. This can give you some control over your anxiety, knowing that whatever you do, you are not committing a social faux pas.
9. Drink Something Cold
I always keep my water bottle on me because it gives me something to do with my hands if I’m in a social situation and because cold helps me to ground myself.
Grounding techniques are great for any anxiety and can help you stay present in the moment.
This Owala free sip water bottle is my go-to for the gym and class because it closes up and doesn’t leak. You also have two options for drinking it: sip on the straw or pour it like a plastic water bottle or cup.
It keeps my water super cold forever, and it is super cute. There are many color lines, so you can let your personality shine a bit! I also love how easy it is to hold, and the handle on top makes it easy to carry around!
If you are a tumbler drinker, then this simple modern is perfect! Stanley water bottles can be super expensive, and they have a tendency to spill on me. I never worry about knocking it over when I use my simple modern 40 oz tumbler because it will only spill whatever is in the straw.
It also has a four-way closure, so I can choose where I want my straw sit depending on what hand I want to hold the handle with.
ALSO THE HANDLE! I love a handle on a water bottle because it looks cute and is easy to take in the car! The giant straw was the main selling point because it helps you drink more water than a small straw!
Well, There You Go!
This post was all about social anxiety coping skills!
I hope these tips and tricks help you with your social anxiety. These were all my best tips and tricks after years of leaving class in the middle of a panic attack.
You have to know in your gut that you can improve your anxiety for these to work.
Remember that you don’t need to care about what everyone thinks of you and that there will always be people who don’t like you. You cannot please everyone in your life!
