9 Unexpected Ways ADHD Is Sabotaging Your Life As A Woman
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ADHD In women can be hard to manage because it is not normalized!
Knowing how ADHD affects your life can provide you with tools to fix it. As a college woman with ADHD, I know this all too well.
The Taylor Swift song “This Is Me Trying” really resonates with me as someone who struggles at all with my mental health.
As someone with ADHD, I know how frustrating it can be to say, “THIS is me TRYING,” when to other people, it might look like you are giving in minimal effort.
That is why I am writing this post, I want y’all to have the confidence to know that you are trying and it is not your fault when it looks like you are putting in nothing when you’re giving everything!
Sometimes your biggest “yes” can look like a whisper!
This post is all about ADHD as a woman!
Ways ADHD Affects Your Life As A Woman
Strained Relationships:
ADHD can lead to difficulties in relationships, with one or both partners displaying anger or frustration quickly, leading to conflicts and misunderstandings.
On the outside, it might look like you are a friend hopper or that you don’t put in equal effort into relationships even when you are trying your best.
Know that friendships take much more effort for people with ADHD than it might look like.
This means that even when you don’t think of it, your friend might be needing you.
One solution to this is to put reminders on your phone to text a friend at least once a week or put it into your calendar.
It is essential for people with ADHD to keep up with friendships because it can be lonely living a life where everything seems out of control and discombobulated.
Make a list of a few people that are great friends or that are important to you, and text them. It doesn’t have to be anything special, but it should be checking up on them and focusing on them for a little bit.
Try to put in extra effort to check in on your friends before you need support. If you are a friend, you will always have a friend!
Missed Diagnoses:
Women with ADHD often display symptoms of distractibility, forgetfulness, and poor memory, leading to missed diagnoses.
It is so important to know that you have ADHD as a woman because it can give you resources and access that you wouldn’t have otherwise.
I remember being frustrated when people would tell me I would outgrow my ADHD as I grew up, but that is not the case. I am just better at hiding it now.
If you believe you have ADHD and you have never been diagnosed, you probably notice you do things differently than others because you have found more efficient ways for you to get that task done.
People might think that you are just an irresponsible person when really you just have ADHD!
Societal Misunderstandings:
Due to societal gender norms, women with ADHD may face additional challenges and misunderstandings.
This can be the most annoying part of ADHD!
Working through misunderstandings with ADHD as a woman can be so tricky because it can be hard to make arguments and piece together your thoughts to be coherent.
One way to help this is to start being very intentional with everything you do. Every time you do something, you should make sure you have plenty of reasons why you are doing it.
Journaling can help with this intentionality and help you remember your reasoning for doing one thing over another.
I have a ton of posts on journaling, but here is an excellent post on five-minute journal prompts that can help you develop journaling habits (even with ADHD).
Self-Sabotage:
Low self-esteem and unfounded beliefs about one’s capabilities can lead to self-sabotage.
Living with ADHD can often feel like navigating a ship in stormy waters. It’s a daily challenge that comes with its own unique set of obstacles. But remember, you’re not alone, and there are strategies to help manage these challenges.
One characteristic of ADHD is procrastination. We find ourselves constantly shuffling tasks to the bottom of the list, only to scramble in stress when deadlines loom.
My advice? Break your tasks into manageable chunks and tackle them one by one. It might seem daunting at first, but taking small steps can make a big difference.
Another hurdle is avoiding challenges due to fear of failure, often stemming from past experiences. It’s crucial to remember that every setback is an opportunity for growth.
Don’t let past failures deter you. Instead, use them as stepping stones towards your future success.
Impulsivity, another common trait of ADHD, can lead to hasty decisions with unforeseen consequences. To combat this, try to practice mindfulness.
Take a moment to pause and reflect before making decisions. This simple act can save you from potential pitfalls down the road.
Childhood Trauma:
Undiagnosed ADHD often results in childhoods filled with misunderstanding, self-blame, and rejection.
You might not like to categorize your childhood as traumatic, but there might be situations that have shaped the way you view yourself and your brain.
Classroom settings might’ve felt embarrassing or stressful because you didn’t like the way you acted but felt like you couldn’t control it.
Growing up with ADHD, you might have felt the need to overexplain everything you do, and that can cause more issues for yourself if you don’t really know what the line is for appropriate explaining.
Remember that none of this is your fault, and there is nothing to be embarrassed about.
I can assure you that no one remembers your embarrassing childhood memories in class where you were too talkative or whatever you did.
Dietary Struggles:
ADHD can lead to struggles with diet, focus, and attention, causing individuals to feel spacey or procrastinate.
I have a whole post on water for ADHD, and it is one of my most popular posts for a reason. WATER IS IMPORTANT!
One of the reasons that we talked about in that post is that water gives your brain the ability to work at its proper capacity; without proper food, you are setting yourself up for failure.
It is hard to stick to habits with ADHD as a woman because we often forget the habit in the first place.
I am sure that most of you have set a New Year’s Resolution like “be healthier,” but these types of resolutions don’t work for people with ADHD. (I have a whole post on achievable New Year resolutions and great tips for people with ADHD if you need help creating one!)
It is vital to have easy and accessible meals and snacks when you have ADHD.
Compulsive Eating:
ADHD may lead to compulsive eating as a coping mechanism.
As a woman, it can feel shameful to have any issues with food or your weight.
ADHD makes it so much harder to control your eating habits.
I notice I can go a whole day without eating if I don’t remind myself or get a migraine first.
If you don’t eat for a long period of time, it can trigger yourself to binge eat!
It is important to be intentional in how and what you eat. If you have anxiety, here is an excellent post on anxiety meal plans that can help you come up with easy snacks and meals that will support your brain and body.
Anxiety:
Individuals with ADHD often struggle with anxiety, exacerbating ADHD symptoms.
Overthinking can be a big issue when it comes to ADHD.
Anxiety can really cause you to self-sabotage and prevent you from achieving everything you want to achieve.
For example, at work, I get nervous that my crazy ideas or to-do lists that will help me be more productive might seem silly to someone else, and some days, I opt out of making my to-do lists out of fear!
This is one way I would love to help my ADHD, but my anxiety takes over and prevents me from actually helping myself.
A checklist is a great tip, though!
Break down each of your big tasks into all the little tasks, and then just go down the list so you don’t even have to think!
Chronic Stress:
Living with ADHD can lead to chronic stress, which can negatively impact overall health and well-being.
People with ADHD often experience higher levels of stress due to the unique challenges they face – from managing time, staying organized to handling social interactions and maintaining focus.
Chronic stress not only intensifies ADHD symptoms but can also cause changes to the brain, affecting its functionality. This creates a vicious cycle that’s hard to break free from.
But there’s hope! Identifying triggers for your ADHD symptoms can be a good start. Is it a looming deadline? A cluttered workspace? Once you’ve identified these triggers, you can work towards minimizing their impact.
Incorporating stress management techniques into your routine can also help. This could include regular physical exercise, meditation, spending time in nature or pursuing a hobby you enjoy.
Well, There You Go!
This post was all about ADHD as a woman!
I completely understand how different women with ADHD are perceived than men and that can be so frustrating.
I am working on a whole series of posts about ADHD for women so that we can all learn to understand it a little bit better and hopefully learn some ways to manage it better than the guys!
Remember that brain health is ADHD health, so work on challenging your brain and feeding it all sorts of nutrients.
Now, stop self-sabotaging and start supporting your ADHD!
